🇯🇵 How My First Trip to Japan Changed My Perspective On…Pretty Much Everything
Perhaps the American way is not the only way
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So I’m in a Japanese maid cafe in Tokyo, Japan, and apparently my name is now “Master Mikaru.” At least that’s what the maids call me.
In these maid cafes, you roleplay as a king or queen returning to your castle. And all the servers are dressed as maids awaiting your arrival.
They dote on you, tell you how awesome you are, and have you chant “Moe moe cuuuuute” while making heart signs with their hands before they serve you food.
It’s too bad the spell they casted didn’t make the food taste better.
The food was 10/10 for cuteness but 0/10 for taste. After taking one bite of their curry rice shaped like a puppy, I almost choked because it tasted like plastic.
Not wanting my maid to feel bad, I smiled pretending to enjoy the food. Secretly, I was hiding the food in my mouth and stopped chewing so I didn’t have to taste it anymore.
When she turned to tend to the 50+ year old Japanese salaryman next to me, I discreetly spat it out.
How I Got Here
My experience at the maid cafe represented how the rest of my 11-day trip in Japan went.
Every day, I embarrassed myself in front of the Japanese. Every day, I experienced culture shock as I discovered another novelty of Japanese culture.
And every day was an exercise in embracing spontaneity; I went to the maid cafe the day after I heard about it from another traveler.
Like finding out about the maid cafe, the entire trip was also by chance. In January 2023, I saw a Tweet from Phoebe Yao, a founder who I had briefly spoken to over a group video call, calling for anyone interested in staying at a founder house in Tokyo later in April.
Having wanted to go to Japan for years now but never getting the chance because of COVID, I took a leap of faith and DM’d her for details about this trip. 24 hours later, I sent her my deposit even though I had never met her in person.
In fact, I had never met any of the other 40 founders who had signed up for this trip either!
I won’t deny — I was feeling a lot of trepidation before going to Japan. Who am I going to live with? How am I going to deal with the language barrier? How do I exchange currency? Is my roommate going to be a murderer?
But as an entrepreneur, my business growth is a lagging indicator of my own personal growth. And that growth happens at the edge of my comfort zone.
I saw this not just as a vacation, but as a test of how comfortable I was with discomfort. If I could handle all the uncertainties of a trip like this well, then any business concerns would pale in comparison.
Furthermore, I live in a Silicon Valley echo chamber, and I saw this trip as a chance to venture outside of this bubble, meet new people, and remind myself that there are many ways of doing things.
We don’t always make a point to seek out situations or people with different perspectives because it doesn’t happen by default. In our algorithm driven world, social media platforms tend to show us content similar to what we’ve liked before.
Seeking different perspectives requires a conscious choice to change our environment, the content we consume, and the people we hang out with. This trip was like dipping into the cold bath of a Japanese onsen. It’s uncomfortable at first, but worth it once you’re in.
What I Learned About Mindfulness in Japan
My decision to go to Japan was validated instantly after landing. From watching how the Japanese operated, I started questioning the way I did things back home here in the USA almost immediately.
Although the Japanese have places to go, they move at a less frenzied pace compared to Americans. The Japanese don’t multitask the way Americans do.
On any busy US street, you will see someone with a latte in one hand and talking on the phone in another. In Japan, I rarely saw people eating or drinking while walking. It seems like most Japanese will sit down and finish their food or drink first before moving on with their day.
I also noticed that the Japanese actually obeyed traffic rules. I didn’t see anyone jay-walk in Japan. Even on a quiet side street with no cars, people will wait for the pedestrian sign to turn green before crossing.
Compare that to New York City where the moment the last car crosses, people will start jay-walking even if the sign is still red.
The Japanese move with the pace of nature and get things done without being in a hurry. They think in years rather than days, whereas Americans are addicted to instant gratification and short-term results.
The patience the Japanese exhibit is something I can apply to my business growth as well.
I’ve only been in this entrepreneurship game for a year, which in the grand scheme of things is quite short. Yet I often feel this low-hum of anxiety because I’m obsessed with short-term numbers.
Just as how the cherry blossoms don’t rush to bloom, visiting Japan taught me to play long-term games and be more patient with business results. If I stay consistent with my efforts with consulting and writing, my life will also bloom in due time.
What I Learned About the Japanese Attention to Detail
Something else I noticed about the Japanese is their attention to detail and customer service.
For one, they are incredibly polite when it comes to communication. They say, “arigato gozaimasu” (thank you in Japanese) so much that it’s almost cliche. They even said this as they took my trash away on the Shinkansen, their bullet trains, when I should be the one thanking them!
In one of our welcome dinners, we asked the staff if we could order a particular dish for all the tables, and they actually said no because “they couldn’t guarantee the level of quality would remain high if they made that dish for 20+ people.”
Compare this to American companies, where they’d happily give you half the quality and half the service at 2x the price.
This diligence seems to be instilled in them from a young age. When I visited Tokyo Tower, I noticed a group of Japanese middle schoolers on a field trip there. The teacher had them line up military style at every checkpoint.
And when they went up the tower, they lined up in two lines and circled the tower exactly three times before going back down again.
Compare this to the American-style field trip, where the teacher would let the kids run around the tower as they please. Watching the Japanese makes me realize how much more disciplined I could be in my work as well. If I was honest with myself, some parts of my work would not meet Japanese standards.
I tend to bias towards speed even if it means launching something embarrassing. But the Japanese taught me that it might be worth an extra 10 or 20 minutes to take care of little details because people notice.
This could be simple things like making sure all the fonts match in documents I send to clients, the images are aligned properly, and doing a last pass to check for typos.
This is particularly important in consulting because the majority of consulting is about perception management. And if there is any culture that is good at taking care of appearances, it’s the Japanese. I will definitely take their level of customer service and detail into my own work going forward.
Final Thoughts
Perhaps my favorite part of Japan was their onsens, which are traditional Japanese open-air baths. In fact, I liked it so much, I went to four different ones. But even that experience was embarrassing to say the least.
The first time I went to one I brought my swimsuit there, only to realize when they say that you have to get naked, they really mean naked. I’ve now seen enough naked Japanese men to last me a lifetime.
Later on I went with the group I traveled with to another onsen. I guess that’s one way to get to know each other on a “deeper” level.
It’s been a few days since I’ve been back now, and I still feel awestruck by what I saw in Japan. If you haven’t been, I highly recommend visiting Japan at some point. It’s probably my favorite country that I’ve visited so far.
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Great post! I think there are so many subtle differences that shape how Japan reacts differently to the rest of the world.
If I may be so bold, I have started to document them as a long term traveler there from Australia with my partner.
https://hiddenjapan.substack.com/
> Perhaps my favorite part of Japan was their onsens, which are traditional Japanese open-air baths
Heading to Japan 5/9, first stop after getting off the plane is going to be an Onsen